Don’t Shoot the Sh#t!

How to Stop Bad Sh#t From Happening When You’re Carrying Concealed, and You Gotta Go…

by T. “Charlie” Allen

Do you carry a concealed weapon?  If so, let me ask you a very sensitive question -- what do you do with your gun when, well you know, when you gotta go…? 

Yeah, I know, it sounds stupid, but hang with me for a minute and you’ll understand where I’m headed with this. I’ve carried a firearm most of my adult life, and in all of the classes and trainings I’ve attended, not once did any instructor ever say, “This is what you ought to be doing with your gun when you’re wiping your butt!”

And yet, it’s an important topic… I’ve seen cases where an armed citizen left a weapon in the bathroom when returning to work, and a couple cases where a police recruit and an armed security guard accidently shot the toilet.

Negligent or accidental discharges only happen when we handle our weapons. Guns don’t just arbitrailily fire all by themselves (absent some allegations regarding Sig Sauer’s P320’s in the past couple years). So, when you’re getting dressed, or using the bathroom, and arming up, every fiber of your being should be fully concentrated on the act of handling and holstering your weapon.

You can’t do that safely if you’re in the middle of a conversation with your spouse about the kids, or what you’re going to do for dinner. Every part of you should be focused on that deadly piece of equipment you are handling, because when you’re not fully engaged, that’s when accidents happen. 

I’ve heard of cases where a shirt tail got caught in the trigger guard and a round fired when someone was holstering their weapon. There are cases on record where those plastic, quick adjust string pulls on hoodies and jackets have gotten into the trigger guard and caused discharges. And of course there are many, many cases where the user simply wasn’t paying attention and their finger slipped onto the trigger and BAM!    

So, back to my earlier topic, when you head to the ‘head’ if you’re not careful, as soon as you unbuckle your belt, the weight of your weapon can drop your pants to the floor like a free-fall elevator. 

Based on many years of experience, I’m going to offer you some suggestions. First, when using a public restroom, if I have a choice, regardless if I’m peein’ or poopin’, I always take a stall. Never use a stand-up urinal if you have a choice. It’s just too easy for Joe Bad Guy to walk up behind you while you are busy and grab your weapon. What are you going to do, turn around and pee on his shoes? Always go for the stall if you can, and close and lock the door. 

Once inside, the absolute best course of action is to leave the weapon in its holster if you can. If you can do your business without dropping your pants and keep the weapon in the holster, that’s the preferred and safest course of action. But if you need to sit down, well, you need to think about this. Try it at home, with a safe and unloaded weapon and see for yourself what works and what doesn’t.  

If you’re going to remove your weapon, the easiest choice works only if the toilet has a water tank behind it. You can easily place your weapon on that tank. But remember to retrieve your weapon before leaving!

If the bathroom is a private, one seater, and there’s a vanity or sink, you might be able to place your weapon on the vanity. Just don’t forget it when you leave, and like I said earlier, always lock the door anytime you’re handling your firearm in a public restroom.

If, and only if, the walls of the stall go floor to ceiling with no gaps, or at least no floor gaps, you can set the weapon on the floor at your feet. I’m a bit of a germaphobe, so this isn’t my favorite choice, especially in public facilities. You can place some toilet paper on the floor first and set it on the paper. Just remember, if you set your weapon on the floor and the stall walls have gaps at the floor level, Joe Bad Guy can simply reach in and snatch your weapon. And he’ll be out the door, and in his street rod playing NASCAR before you can get your pants up.

I can see it now, “Well you see officer, I was wiping my butt when a hand reached under the stall door and grabbed my pistol!” I wouldn’t want to be the “butt” of the jokes that would surely follow that one!

One thing you should never, ever do — hang the gun on the coat hook on the back of the restroom or stall door. The chance of a discharge is just too great. That’s also how the individual I described earlier left their weapon in the bathroom. Unless you have a dedicated gun belt, like a duty belt that uniformed police wear, just don’t do it. 

I know you’re sitting there (maybe even on the toilet) reading this article thinking, this is so dumb -- and it is, but it’s also something you really need think about if you carry a firearm. 

Like I said earlier, you’re not gonna get this in a concealed carry class! Anyone who carries should practice this with a safe and empty weapon in their own home before venturing out into the real world. The best prevention for accidents is practice. So, practice at home, then practice some more.

You know the saying: “Sh#t Happens!” — Don’t let it happen to you.

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